The curse acoustic Testament
Seven days created the Lord of the Earth. On the first day, he created the firmament of the earth, the seas and oceans. On the second day God created the sky and the stars that decorated the sky. And God saw that it was good. And on the third day he inhabited the Land reptiles are different. And again he saw that it was good. And he was doing it for another four days and on the last day created man first. And he called his Yngwie Malsteem. And again turned out well. But Malmsteen, being the first and only person started to get bored. God was merciful and made for Malmsteen first acoustic guitar, similar to the glorious Soviet acoustics. And rejoiced Malmsteen, beheld the divine face of this instrument and began to play with it range. But since the guitar was though divine, but the first, then play it anything but divine palette from Malmsteen did not work. Yngwie was a God-fearing man and knew that the Lord does not want his son played unworthy of Deep Purple. And sat Malmsteen behind the TV and get melancholy. He prayed to the Lord: «God, hear my prayer and send me at least the combo. But the Lord was strict and replied: » Combo will destroy the glorious harmony of your garden of Eden and will come the great darkness in your soul». And Yngwie again and again played scales on the Soviet acoustics. The years went by. The garden of Eden kept her endless youth and harmony, and Malmsteen suffered from depression.
But it was the Tree of Evil in the garden of Eden, and it was called so because he lived there the serpent cursed by the name fender. The Lord did not allow Malmsten to approach him, but the Tree has long attracted vicious soul of the son of God. And once he walked up to the tree and asked: «fender, o serpent damned, tell me, how to cope with grief me and my exit from the Blues pentatonic scale in improvisation my divine». The smile slid across the face of the serpent and he replied Malmsteen : «you shall go out of the Blues pentatonic scale, as long as will not play all 24 caprices of Paganini guitar acoustic». And took the snake Guitar his acoustic and played on it Paganini’s 24 caprices, and smiled contemptuously. And returned Yngwie in his house and began to teach the caprices. Learned he 23 caprices guitar and 24th – failed, because the guitar was like a glorious Soviet acoustics. He returned to the Serpent and played him 23 Caprice, and said to him : «the serpent is cursed, I have no happiness in the garden of Eden. Give me its acoustics and I shall get rid of the anguish of his. And gave the serpent fender acoustics his Yngwie, and started playing it the Caprice of the 24th. But the Lord hath heard it and was angry, scared. And he said Malmsten: «O my son unworthy. Hearken unto the voice of the Lord and stop playing this Caprice devil!» But not heard Yngwie voice of God and continue to play Caprice 24th. Then said the Lord : «O my son unworthy! I cast you out I’m from the garden of Eden and thou shalt no more play in the pentatonic scale the Blues, but will play the caprices forever on his Fender nucleuses and anything else in life you don’t know” And hurled a bolt of lightning Lord in his son cursed. And closed Yngwie acoustics Fender and lit it divine flame. And heard Malmsteen roar of the Lord coming from the tool of the devil and realized that this distortion. So appeared the first guitar in the firmament of the earth and the first cursed by his father in the son of God. And it is a great sadness on Earth of God. And darkness reigned in the hearts of the people. And still roams the world with the curse seal on guitar, roaring voice terrible, Yngwie Malmsteen. And every night under the dark moon face, causing panic and fear among the people, he plays a lonely guitar fender (the Paganini caprices and sucks his heart serpent damned, whispering sweetly in my ear: «Faster, honey, faster…”
Author: St. Andrew