Patients guitarisma

Patients guitarisma

Patients guitarismacenturies ago came to light she’s guitar! It’s a harmless creating peacefully existed on our sinful earth, evolving, developing, acquiring more and more nice features. And no one: neither the founders nor any of its owners, no one thought she would turn out to millions of people in the future…

a Bit of history

it All began in 1791, when the light appeared a great watermen Michael Faraday. According to one version on the Earth he was sent by the Gods that he had fulfilled his mission to spread human guitarisma!!! Apparently the Gods again got people, and they decided to izbavitsya from man. Upon arrival, Michael discovered that emerged not in 1991 as planned, and two hundred years before that Metallica does not yet exist and that the word «distortion» in his time — it is a terrible curse! «Mission impossible» he thought, and began to cry. But taking himself in hand, he still decided to take the first steps towards the destruction of humanity. Thus was born the electricity! Before his death in 1867, again regretted that he had not time to reinvent the pickup, the kick pedal «Gamma» and the song of the firm «Ural-production».
p.s. All side effects from the creation of electricity (microelectronics, nanotechnology, etc.) terrible misunderstanding!! At the moment, the Gods decide how to punish people for such willfulness.

the Time went… soon came to light AC. Then smart people (too unearthly people) began to receive harmonic oscillations with an inductive coil with a permanent magnet. Thus was born the pickups! And more a matter of technique: appeared amplifiers, converters, etc. in short, here it is, the beginning of Armageddon: descended to the Ground electric Guitar!!! And then it started… the Gods have sent a couple of his people. These people began to create clandestine guerrilla groups with funny names: Gibson, fender, etc. Members of units produced six-stringed virus. Each not much inept people, once touching him, was contracted guitarisma. First guitarisma suffered a small group of five or six people. You probably know them: it’s Pink Floyd, the Eagles, Aerosmith… And there appeared a terrible property of the virus guitarisma: it was spread through the air! Now one does not have to touch the guitar to get guitarisma. Malicious virus formed in the air sound waves, which are getting into the human skull, forever forced people to worship guitar. And only few managed to avoid infection: dead and deaf and remained untouched by the virus. However, crowds of people whom the doctors were classified as rockers, forever smitten guitarisma.

symptoms

make Sure that you are susceptible to virus guitarisma (and you certainly infected, once you are on this site (by the way, you can consider this one of the signs)is not difficult. Here is a small list of distinct characteristics:

*** whenever you hear someone does «music» on 12-20-x odds, you come into ecstasy! Your body starts to shake and left hand involuntarily squeezes an imaginary fretboard, and the right somewhere between his legs frantically chops on imaginary strings imaginary mediatron
*** In the form of a poster with a picture of the group «Metallica» you involuntarily say YEAH!!!
*** the Shadow of a chicken egg reminds you of the mediator, and the railway — strange fingerboard with just two strings
*** When you are taking a blood sample from a finger of the left hand, you thereby hassle nurse who unsuccessfully wicket in your finger feathers of different size
*** Your girlfriend (boyfriend), wife (husband) know that the Stratocaster is not the kind of arthropods and reptiles, and your favorite, expensive, glenogra, slim dream, which you will ever bring destiny and you will forever forget about your soul mate
*** and so… small symptomic! On your desktop as Wallpaper selected the picture Jimmy Hendrixs Gibson LesPaul, and vinnova playlist never to meet Britney Spears and Notre Dame de Paris
If at least one of the characteristics you find in yourself, you sick guitarisma!

Stage of the disease

now it would be nice to know how long have you been sick and how much you have left before the climax 🙂

stage 1
Mild infection has yet to be treated. The solos from songs for some reason began to caress the ears, your hands started to reach for the guitar.
stage 2
You will learn what are Am, Dm and E! Is there a difference!! Now you know how to play a couple songs DDT. The way to treatment cut.
3rd stage
some of the above symptoms. His left hand was tired of playing on the first three frets and she reached higher. And there is nothing better than to cut in the morning Restinosis DU HAST.
4-stage I
All stipend, salary went to buy Fender Teleсaster! Next buy the combo! Neighbors stopped to smile at you.
5-stage I
and here is the culmination! You either become popular rock an infected person, or it ends up as described HERE … and your guitar is already nothing will help.

And about the treatment of…

And you need it? Do you want to deprive yourself of all this craziness? I think not. It is great that we are ill-guitarisma. I want to say: «Guitarism Forever, YEAH!!!!!»

good Luck to go through all five stages with a successful status «Honorary infected person»!

Author: Clay