4 how to use the guitar not on purpose

4 how to use the guitar not on purpose

This article is mainly intended for those who have at their disposal a guitar, but for some reason to play it is not able. And it is useless in the corner, hanging cloves, lies on the mezzanine and is generally covered with a thick layer of dust. Similar to me personally it seems a sacrilege, so I suggest You to find some ways of dealing with the guitar that will help her to find a new life, and You… although, frankly, I cannot imagine what it will help You. Well, from idleness that you don’t podocyte =) Each method are described in detail and, in addition, in the description of each is given its pros and cons that should help You to choose the most suitable for yourself.

# 1 «Krustalny»

Take the guitar with the left hand behind the neck and the right hand is placed over an inch from the strings. Problems that you should not cause, especially if you saw, how you hold the guitar people who know how to play it. Taking the above way the guitar in your hands, it should (although this is optional) to stand in the rack a La James Hetfield – the left leg is put forward and slightly bend at the knee, lean entire body on the left leg and put your right leg back (to bend). Try to keep both feet were about shoulder width apart. Otherwise, you most likely will fall. Undoubtedly, flawless execution of these exercises takes practice, but if you still did it, you can safely turn on your favorite song, get in front of a mirror and use both hands to perform movements that mimic the full game on the guitar. I assure you, you will get incredible pleasure from the sensation of what it is exactly You are so cool to play!
note 1. Music should be selected appropriate to your guitar. Even in the mirror you will look pretty ridiculous if you become labate on acoustic guitar song SEPULTURA.
note 2. Music should be included louder, so that it muffled the sounds that will make the guitar due to accidental contact fingers on the strings.

Advantages: This method will surely help You almost immediately feel like a Superstar or even F. Kirkorov!

Cons: a) whatever opinion You have about yourself no matter, play the guitar, you still don’t learn.
b) If You are someone I will burn for this lesson, in the best case, simply turning a finger to his temple, in the worst – start over You giggle.

# 2 «Defensive»

Imagine the situation: You go late in the evening or even at night on the street with a guitar (and it does not matter how you ended up on the street with a guitar, which still do not know how to play. Suppose You found it on the way home). And suddenly I hear a voice behind him: «Hey kid, you che never!?” or “Let me smoke!!!” or “Hey, how many times!?». Options you can list a lot, but in any case the tone You most likely understand that You are unlikely to want to hold back or to treat gum. In this situation, you should act quickly, calmly and quickly! Defining voice the approximate direction and distance to its source, you should get a guitar with both hands behind the neck, giving it the maximum possible acceleration wave in the direction of the source. Note. If the length of the guitar in your possession, is less than the distance to the source of the voice, the guitar should throw (much like a hammer throwers at competitions and training)
Advantages If the guitar was in contact with the objective, to the house You most likely will.
a) If you have set the guitar too much acceleration, then it will remain intact, and you re using it will not be able.
b) If all the same guitar with the objective not met, and you slowly run, You are likely to beat (maybe even feet).

# 3 «Cooking»

guitar Strings can be used as a slicer. To do this, boil the egg (or several. The result from the number does not depend), clean it and putting on the strings, to put pressure on his hand. Thus, there will be the necessary pressure, the resulting egg will be cut strings into multiple parts (their number is directly proportional to the number of strings on Your guitar).
the Advantages of Durability. To use the guitar in this way it is possible for a very long time. Even if the strings will start to burst, they can always be replaced.
Disadvantages In comparison with the conventional slicer, the guitar has a huge size, so keep it in the kitchen is always at hand will be quite problematic.

# 4 ’Laundry»

If You look carefully at the neck of the guitar, you will see that it is glued sticks in large quantities, the so-called «profiles». The nut is glued to the neck very tightly, allowing you to use the entire design as a washing Board. Note. To use the guitar this way You most likely will prevent the strings (unless of course on Your guitar they are present). Do not despair if it happened! Strings at any time you can remove and install back (how to do it, you can learn «random»).


If You are diligent, then using the guitar in this way will be a day to wash a huge amount of lingerie. If there is a private Laundry room will open, you will get money for it.


a) compared with conventional a washboard, guitar neck is quite narrow, so using it in this capacity is not very convenient.
b) Normal people in General have long instead of washing boards use the same machine that has proven its effectiveness and ease of use.
Each of the above methods has its own advantages and disadvantages. Which one to choose, of course You decide. I hope that at least one of them will save Your guitar from a useless life in a corner and die an ignominious death in the garbage.

Author: VooDoo